I can't go backwards

So I have decided to start from where my head is now.  The reality is that I will be losing my job in the not so distant future - like in 6 months, and yes like all the other half a million of us who work in the public sector - we will have to find new jobs, new skills.  I know this in realistic terms seems quite a way off and whilst I was trying to explain to my husband about how this was the most fantastic opportunity for me to explore what I wanted to do, in one sentance [bless his cotton socks] he had shot me down -

"but haven't you got the career you always wanted"

refering to the two most wonderful little darlings our soon to be adopted children, yes I had been waiting for the tiny patter of feet, hands and cries of mummy, mummy, mummy, but should I feel ashamed for wanting an adult life too?

Us as a family of four have come a long way in the last 14 months - yes that is as long as I have been a mummy,  for the sake of the privacy of the children I will refer to my daughter as Beauty and my son as Horatio, before there were just the two of us Mr & Mrs mummyrella with Valentine the pooch and Sweetie & Beau Beau the cats and on 8th August 2009 we found that we had become parents to a 14 month boy and a 28 month girl. 

Looking back and saying we were parents at that stage for us was an alien concept, it was quite scary to think that we were suddenly responsible for these two babes and life was never to be the same.